Damn you leaves, when will it ever end?

I’m not going to start this with another apology for how long it’s been between posts. I was planning to blame my hectic schedule during Breast Cancer Awareness Month but seeing as Pamela, our Chief Exec, managed to knock out ten posts in October I really haven’t got a leg to stand on.

So, last time I was here i promised an update on River Cottage Croydon. Well, the world’s tiniest smallholding is looking very sorry for itself as we get ready for the rapid descent into Winter. Getting the plot into this depressing state has involved such fascinating tasks as deadheading and (my least favourite job) raking up leaves. In their defence, leaf mulch is a wonderful conditioner for the garden, but in order to harness it you have to rake up all the bloody leaves and store them for a year in well ventilated spot. The problem with this is leaf collecting is a thankless, never-ending task which would try the patience of the most saintly gardener. When you find yourself screaming at leaves for forever being on the move it’s definitely time to put the rake down and step away from the area.

Margot and Jerry, my lovely hens, have been at RCC for six week now and they’re a delightful addition to the family. They’re currently sitting in a box behind me as the neighbours have decided to turn the street into Sarajevo circa 1995 with a multitude of firework displays. Note to the residents of Addiscome: A – Guy Fawkes Night was FOUR DAYS AGO and B - you had all of yesterday evening to do this so why are we getting a repeat performance tonight? If anyone can point me in the direction of a petition to end the sale of fireworks for domestic use, I’ll happily sign it. Bar Humbug!

Max and Eli, now veterans of three bonfire nights, couldn’t care less. Instead, they’ve spent most of this week perfecting and employing a new (and deeply flawed) squirrel catching technique. This involves hiding up the tree (under the cover of non-existent leaves) ‘till said squirrel runs past, then chasing it round and round the school field until the squirrel’s superior stamina and speed forces the daring duo to retreat back to base and wait for the next target. Repeat ad infinitum. This kept them busy for a good four hours and i can report no squirrels were harmed during the making of this farce. Perhaps next week they’ll graduate to fox hunting with nets and spears.....