Back from Chelsea – quick match report

What a wonderful day. I’ll report back in full later but thought you should know how i got on following my own advice from earlier this week.


1. Get there early A+, gold star, etc. Was at the entrance at 7.55am, programme in hand.

2. Play BBC presenter Bingo. Not bad. Managed to spot the holy trinity – Alan, Joe and Carol. No bonus points for parallel sightings.

3. Pack your own lunch. I packed my own breakfast, does this count?

4. Splash out on a glass of Pimms. Failed – had a few glasses of prosecco last night and didn’t fancy hair of the dog.

5. Control your impulse to buy multiple bits of gardening tat. Fail, fail, fail, fail and fail again.

Purchases in no particular order:

• Wicker grow bag fencing
• Two bone china mugs
• Tin for holding string (with string)
• Two metal life-sized cockerel garden ornaments (One for Mum)
• Two robin garden decorations on sticks (both Mum’s – brought to order)
• Dibber for planting seeds
• Garden utility belt (like Batman's, only better)
• Two keyrings – for ‘shed’ and ‘back door’
• Three leaf bags (turn leaves into mulch over time) – annual Chelsea purchase
• Seeds from Heritage seed company

I’m sure I’ve missed about half a dozen items off. Mr Swift is going to have a coronary when he gets home.

6. Take change for seed catalogues in the Pavilion. Pass

7. Take lots of photos and ask lots of questions. Pass and pass (sorry to the man on the South African exhibition in the Pavilion. I bet you didn’t think one person could have so many questions about Aloe)

8. Finally, get a cab back to your main transport hub Another massive fail. Walked with my multitude of purchases to Victoria. Officially the longest mile of my life.

Chelsea

My favourite week in the gardening calandar has arrived!

For those of you heading to Chelsea, perhaps for the first time, i have compiled a survival guide to making the most of your day.

1. Get there early. In fact, get there when it opens. Not only will you be able to get round the show gardens whilst most people are still having their breakfast you’ll also have the chance to see the BBC filming their coverage. This brings me nicely onto point two...

2. Play BBC presenter Bingo. Main targets are Alan Titchmarsh, Joe Swift (normally wearing a Panama), Jekka McVicar (normally manning her stand in the Pavilion) and Carol Klein. Bonus points for spotting two of them together. Marvel at how much make-up Alan is wearing.

3. Pack your own lunch. This may seem tight but the Chelsea showground is a parallel universe where everything is quadruple the price of anywhere else.

4. Ignoring point three for a second - splash out on a glass of Pimms. It’s Chelsea, you deserve it!

5. Control your impulse to buy multiple bits of gardening tat. You don’t need a decorative string holder however much you think you do. Same goes for lace-up wellies, pink watering cans and plastic garden clogs with a ‘wacky’ tomato design. I’m speaking from bitter experience here.

6. Take change for seed catalogues in the Pavilion. The exhibitors will look at you with the contempt you deserve when you offer up a tenner for a 20p brochure.

7. Take lots of photos and ask lots of questions.

8. Finally, get a cab back to your main transport hub (Victoria in my case). There’s no point in being a martyr trying to carry home all those impulse buys on the tube.

Behold......

.....the fruits of my labour at Oh Sew Brixton’s ‘Make a skirt’ workshop last Monday.

The tutor described my seams as ‘perfectly straight and neat’; I almost cried with joy.

Just need the weather to improve so it can get its first outing. For the meantime I will stick to trying it on once a day and marvelling at how un-handmade it looks.