I’ve started reading Simon Pegg’s excellent autobiography Nerd Do Well and was struck by an anecdote which very closely mirrors one of my all-time favourite topics of conversation - what to do in the event of a zombie* apocalypse.
I’ve spent oodles of time considering how well RCC would fare against a marauding zombie invasion. The house was deemed reasonably secure with plenty of opportunities to batten down the floors one-by-one before ending up in the loft conversion and if needs be, escaping out of the skylight before fleeing to safety over the rooftops of Addiscombe (with the cats in our backpacks - I’m assuming the hens would have been finished off by this point). The Achilles heel in my master plan was the garden fence. None of it was more than four foot high and it was so knackered that even the most inept of our respiratory challenged foes would consider breaching it a breeze. This significant landscaping oversight has weighed heavy on my mind for some time now.
Ha! Well, think on zombie scum because I’d like to see you get through RCC’s lovely new fence in all its six foot glory. (At this point i was intending to insert a photo of said fence, but my iPhone’s having one of its 'special moments' and refusing to email or text images - i feel another Steve Jobs rant coming on. Trust me; as fences go it’s pretty awesome).
Guess now all that’s left is to source a generator, weapons and emergency rations (some green and red herbs?) and we’re all sorted. Perhaps as autumn is upon us I should turn my attention towards what to do in the event of a killer fog? There’s quite a gap under the front door....
* I don’t mean those sprinting, manic ‘infected’ things from 28 days later, more the bumbling, gentler paced flesh-eaters from the George A. Romero school of the undead.
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