In defence of the ‘concrete hell’

I’ve lived in London now for the past seven year and have always been based in the South East, moving progressively further South as time goes on (Dulwich – Crystal Palace – Croydon)

Now, many of you may think that each move represents a downgrade in neighbourhood, but I beg to differ.

Through my walking training I’ve had a unique opportunity to see lots of Croydon and can report back that there are plenty of positives, despite what people may tell you.

1. Greenery - David Bowie once described Croydon as a ‘complete concrete hell’. Personally, I think anyone who creates something as abhorrent as two Tin Machine albums looses the right to be critical – but that’s just my opinion. Despite what the thin white duke thinks, Croydon has lots of green space including 120 lovely parks. Croydon also does very well in the Britain in Bloom competition – see here if you don’t believe me. Given the content of my previous posts you’ll realise by now that trees, plants and the like are kinda high on my agenda.

2. Safety - I have never once felt threatened on the way home from work to my little palace in Addiscombe. This is in marked contrast to being attacked by teenagers in Gipsy Hil and witnessing two nasty muggings in West Dulwich.

3. Rejuvenation - there is lots of work going on in the city centre, so much so that The Guardian declared that ‘Croydon is the new Barcelona’ back in 2007 (even I raised an eyebrow at that).

4. Culture – it’s not all hoodies stabbing each other on street corners you know, there’s also the odd spot of theatre and art and what-not. The Croydon Clocktower and Warehouse Theatre are particularly good. If it wasn’t for Fairfields Hall I wouldn’t have seen the spectacular Brian Blessed in Peter Pan last Christmas.

If you need any further convincing I present my trump card – Croydon is getting its very own Waitrose. How bad can it be if the last bastion of Middle Class shopping is prepared to move here?

So, you can keep your Dulwich Villages - long live Croydon! Up yours, David Bowie.

P.S - training is going well, five miles in 75 minutes last night. Walked back from Forest Hill station to home, which gave me an opportunity to see lots of places i don't normally visit. I'm also becoming terribly well acquainted with the bus routes of London. Perhaps a second career with TFL beckons?

Week four round-up

For the last five days I’ve had the Ground Force theme tune running through my head on a continuous loop. Mum, Terry, Jon and I have transformed my garden by digging for Britain and building my longed for raised beds. I’ve even had time to slip in a spot of training. Here’s a round up of week four:

· There’s probably a special place in Hell for daughters who sit with their feet up whilst their parents dig the garden (Sorry M&T)
· You can walk eight miles in two hours five minutes in the scorching heat and still have the energy to spend the rest of the day painting raised beds. However, you’ll be in bed by 9.30pm.
· If you’re going to Chelsea Flower Show, buy day tickets and get there as soon as it opens at 8am. You’ll breeze round the show gardens and pavilion whilst most people are still having their breakfast.
· Close up, Alan Titchmarsh wears a lot of foundation
· Joe Swift is lovely, so is Jekka McVicar
· Probably best not to wind your Husband up by publishing his childhood secrets on the Internet. Particularly when he holds a dossier of equally embarrassing stories on you.

This week sees another parental visit - Dad, Step mum Marg and not so little brother Scott arrive on Friday. I’ve also got to squeeze in two five-mile mid-week walks and a 10-mile walk on Sunday. Busy, busy…..

Goblins

Pleased to report that there were no orienteering mishaps on today’s 5 mile walk. It did occur to me that I do the reccomended 10,000 daily steps before most people get out of bed. This is really uncharacteristic; I’ve always been an owl rather than a lark. Perhaps this is changing now I’m middle-aged?

As expected, Swifty hasn’t mentioned the unlocked door incident proving he’s not reading any of this. I’m going to start including some embarrassing anecdotes about him until he comes to his senses.

First up, Swifty sleeps with his head covered because as a child he believed that Goblins would steal his ears in the night.

Best be off, got to see a man about some raised beds.

Where am i?

If my training weeks are going to have themes (clearly last week’s theme was ‘brush with death’) then ‘criminal activity’ could be this week’s topic of choice. More on that in a second.

I got spectacularly lost on yesterday’s walk. My standard five mile route takes me through Beckenham cemetery (not as creepy as it sounds). It didn’t occur to me that it wouldn’t be open at 6.30am. So, rather than retrace my steps I decided to go on a detour believing heading roughly in the same direction would lead me to Norwood Junction – wrong! I wandered around for what seemed like an eternity, not a soul in sight to ask for directions. I eventually stumbled across Arena tram stop. I didn’t have my travel card so I had to fare dodge two stops to get near to home. Oh, the shame!

On the plus side, I walked an extra mile.

The Good life?

This week I’m extremely excited about taking Mum and Terry to their first Chelsea Flower Show. Like me, they are fanatical about growing fruit and veg. Swifty has just about forgiven me for making him rip up the lawn so I could devote the whole garden to growing food. I’d like to take the self sustainability a step further but Swifty has banned me from keeping chickens, goats or bees. I had to settle for a wormery.

I guess this was always on the cards as gardening runs in our family. The RHS should ditch their advice phone line and just get people to ring my Mum instead; her encyclopaedic knowledge gleamed from my Grandad. I vividly remember one of my birthday parties at Grandad's house; within half an hour he’d got all my friends (like an army of child slaves) tying up the sweet peas. ‘Pass the parcel’ had to be abandoned.

I’ll have to stick to a strict budget at Chelsea as it’s easy to get carried away. Last year I brought a ridiculously overpriced pink watering can and truckle. Even in the garden I’m always on-message.

Anyway, just off to do ‘any other activity for 30 minutes’. Thinking of giving Davina another try, but this time cutting down on the number of squats and lunges. After all, don’t want to be pushed round Chelsea in a wheelchair.

Eurovision fever

Week four got off to a slightly stiff note. I was due to do my long walk on Saturday. However, when I required assistance to get off the sofa on Friday night I decided to give myself another days rest.

On Saturday afternoon i heard the news that Pamela had completed her Step on it Challenge – you can read all about her exploits here. Her top tips for getting round were plenty of black coffee and toast. As I avoid both bread and caffeine I could be in deep trouble.

Saturday is always BBQ day in our house and this week’s lucky recipient was Natalie. We ended up watching Eurovision (me, sober, for the first time ever). I voted for the Maldovans – their ‘riverdance on amphetamines’ routine alone was worth the cost of the phone call.

Sunday saw me walking through deepest darkest Penge in a downpour. Six miles in less than 87 minutes. I think that’s what you’d describe as progress. I discovered on my return that I’d completely forgot to lock up properly and left the back door open. I’ve only added that last line in to check if my husband is reading this like he claims he is. If so, he’ll go ballistic this evening.

This week will be a bit hectic as I’ll be fitting in training alongside a visit from my Mum and Stepdad Terry and a trip to Chelsea Flower Show. More about that later.

Week three round-up

Another day, another brush with death. At the end of last nights walk (4 miles in 57 mins) my elderly neighbour ran into me with his mobility scooter. It would have been hilarious if it had happened to someone else.

This morning I’m really feeling the effects of three consecutive days of exercise. I’m so relieved this is a rest day. Just need to psych myself up for a six mile hike tomorrow.

On a much happier note I’ve just had the most generous donation and message of support from Pamela, Campaign’s Chief Executive. Seeing my fundraising total go up and reading everyone’s kind words really helps with the motivation. I’ve been bowled over by all my friends and colleagues efforts to support me, especially the Research and Policy team here at Campaign who have pledged to help me out on walk day with some much needed company /moral support/water and snacks.

Ok – I’m getting a bit mushy for my liking - let’s drag this back to sarcastic. On reflection, what have we learned from week three of training?
1. The likelihood of being run over on the pavements of Croydon is pretty high
2. The best part of a decade without regular exercise is taking its toll
3. Davina McCall is supremely irritating
4. Star Trek is amazing

Hope you all have a good weekend.

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you

Got home yesterday to discover the bin men had scattered our recycling crates to the four corners of the street. Had they read my entry on Monday and tracked me down?

Paranoia aside, training is staring to border on intrusive. This evening I’m forgoing at 20 per cent off opportunity at my favourite clothes shop to go for a walk. I’d like you to take a second to absorb that information and admire my dedication to the cause.

Yesterday I resisted the temptation to punch the TV every time Davina announced on her fitness DVD “ohh, this is one of my favourite tunes!” Sky rocketing stress levels aside, the workout did what it said on the tin. I’ve been shuffling round the office doing my best impression of ‘women beaten around the legs with large stick' . No pain, no gain......

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder

Doing exercise at silly early o’clock is not the only lifestyle change I’ve made recently. I’ve adopted a healthy diet that would put Gwyneth Paltrow’s macrobiotic existence to shame and – wait for it – given up alcohol. Just to clarify, I’m hardly what you’d call a heavy drinker – but I do love a few Hendricks and Slimline tonics of a weekend.

These few dry weeks haven’t turned me into a recluse. I have stood outside The Shaston Arms with Lynn and Swifty, ‘fake wine’ (apple juice and sparkling water) in hand, putting the world to rights. The only downside I can see is loosing a convenient excuse for appalling behaviour. A few Saturdays ago I subjected some of you to a heinous rendition of Fleetwood Mac's ‘You can go your own way'. For that, I am truly sorry.

So, my good friend Hendricks – I do miss you, but not as much as I thought I would. See you in August.

Beggars can’t be choosers

The training schedule has ‘any other activity for a minimum of 30 minutes’ earmarked for me today. I’ve been informed that playing Left 4 Dead on my Xbox won’t count. Bugger.

So, my only option is to dust down the Davina McCall exercise DVDs I brought in a fit of madness several Januarys ago. Davina really gets on my wick but the routines get the thumbs-up from people who use them. Thankfully the DVD gives you the option to mute out Davina’s perky brand of over enthusiasm with a ‘mostly music’ option. Perhaps this won’t be so bad after all.

Bolly good company

Another 6am start this morning - four miles in 58 minutes. Boy, was it cold. I really feel for those poor souls who train for the London Marathon during the winter.

On the subject of running, lots of people have asked why I’m doing a walking event rather than running? Well, running and I have a chequered history (I’m hardly sporting the build of a long-distance athlete). On the other hand I really enjoy walking. I’d much rather walk for an hour than catch a tube or bus; it’s a great way to get to know the city you live in. Finally, I know lots of friends and colleague who run great distances and they all seem to have some kind of painful musculoskeletal woes. This leads me to the completely unscientific conclusion that running’s really bad for your health.

The only downside I can see to walking is it takes so bloody long to get anywhere, even at a fast pace. This is why an iPod is essential company. I’ve been trying to put together playlists for my walks and so far haven’t got any further than my favourite Bollywood soundtracks. I’ve never kept quiet about my love of Indian cinema; on my trip to Rajasthan last year I was more excited about visiting the Raj Mandir cinema in Jaipur than the Taj Mahal. Top of my playlist is the Dhoom:2 soundtrack – think Mission Impossible with extremely cheap special effects and a plethora of upbeat dance numbers. By July I fully expect to be singing fluently in Hindi.

"Make it so"

Training was nearly cut short this morning when a gang of Croydon's finest refuse collectors tried to mow my Husband and I down on the way to work. Take note bin men/women of Britain - driving onto a path full of pedestrians at breakneck speed is not cool. Our brush with death left me uncharacteristically stunned into silence and I had to rely on hand gestures alone to convey my anger.

Despite threats to my mortality, the training is going really well. Yesterday saw me complete five miles in 75 minutes in the scorching midday heat. I was motivated to make it round in record time so I could dash to the 3pm showing of Star Trek at the Imax. Being a bit of a closet Trekkie (I had a life-sized poster of Jean-Luc Picard in my bedroom at University) I had really high hopes, which thankfully were not shattered. Despite the plot holes large enough to park the U.S.S Enterprise in, the film heralds the return of the decent summer blockbuster. Not even a trailer for Transformers II could dampen my good mood….

A harsh door policy?

Today is a day of ‘rest’ according to the training schedule (hooray!), so I’ll be pottering round the garden watching my cats futile attempts to kill the baby squirrels living in our guttering. I’ve invited my good friend; former lodger and Post Magazine’s multi award-winning Deputy Editor Lynn Rouse round for a BBQ tonight. However, I’ve decided to adopt a policy that no-one’s getting over the threshold for a free feed without sponsoring me first. Graeme Roche take heed, you’re next.

The long walk begins

Having avoided any kind of blogging in the past I’ve been assured by my colleague Stuart that keeping a record of my training for Breast Cancer Campaign’s Step on it Challenge will do my mental health the world of good. I’m not convinced, but I’ll give it a go.

Today marks the end of week two of a twelve week marathon walking plan (yes, such things do exist) in preparation for my uber-walk on 19th July - 46,000 continuous steps, one for each of the people diagnosed with breast cancer in the UK this year. This equates to at least 22 miles.

It’s been an eye-opening week. I’ve been up at 6am marching around the eerily quiet streets of East Croydon; I’ve discovered Addiscome has a crazy golf course and was completely blown away by The Specials at Brixton Academy last night.

I promise I’ll come up with something more exciting than this over the next ten weeks. I’m bound to be chased by a feral dog and/or child at some point.

Anyway, now for the big ask. Anyone who’d like to help me along with this endeavour can do so here.