Match report

I often find myself in slightly ridiculous situations which may explain why I power walked 21 miles on the hottest day of the year so far.

Just in case you missed yesterdays post, the walk is done – 21 miles, five hours 35 mins, 46,096 steps. A week earlier than anticipated, but hey-ho! I have photographic evidence of the pedometer and hopefully Natalie will be able to get it off my phone tomorrow (I can be such a Luddite at times). Plenty of my colleagues have seen it so I can produce character witnesses if required.

Anyway, back to the walk. I knew something was afoot on Saturday evening when I was putting together my iPod’s 16 mile playlist (imaginatively titled ‘Walkies!’). I decided to add on an extra hour’s worth of tunes ‘just in case’ - hmmmm.

Woke up on Sunday morning and I knew what I had to do – get this walk out of the way. Rather than fully admit that to myself or anyone else I set off on my training walk as planned, just with extra provisions on the off-chance I fancied tagging an extra five miles on the end.

I would love to report some kind of triumph over adversity tale of five and a half hours of hell but it really wasn’t the case; in the main it was very enjoyable. The only problem I encountered was crushing boredom. To overcome this I mulled over such insightful topics as:

‘Would I like to live at River Cottage?’ (yes, but only if Hugh moved out)

‘What would being married to Tim Roth be like?’ (awesome)

‘Is my neighbour using his ice cream van empire as a cover for drug dealing (quite possibly)

The only time I came close to breaking was being forced to return to the house when I ran out of water at 37,000 steps. It was heartbreaking to dash in, fill up and leave again – all the time knowing that all that stood between me and that sofa was another 9,000 steps (sigh).

Mr Swift was kind enough to accompany me for the last hour and his company was greatly appreciated. His sense of humour at 43,000 steps, was not. “Wouldn’t it be funny if I locked you out of the house when we got back?” Err, no. We’re friends again now.

Once it was all over i celebrated by having a glass of bubbly and watching the second half of the Bollywood film Fanaa – an epic tale of casual holiday sex and international terrorism.

The good news is it’s not too late to sponsor me if you’re feeling that way inclined; my justgiving page is still very much open for business. So far I’ve raised £369 (thank you, thank you, thank you) and would love to see that grow a little larger.

Right, I bid you all goodnight; I’ll be back in the next couple of days to give you an update on progress.